Selamat Pagi Cinta

"ke kiri ku buntu
ke hutan ku hilang
ke timur ku kosong
aku terus bosan dan tertekan
seperti waktu yang terus saja meninggalkan aku
jauh ke dasar kerak bumi yang belum diterokai
warnaku rindu
jiwaku biru
menunggu cintaku umpama si buta yang melihat syurga
umpama lampu yang berbunyi hitam
lalu menunggu aku terus
kini malam tiba lagi kerana tinggalkan cahaya matahari
dibebankan dengan bunyi rintisan hujan
seperti mahu saja aku mengejar
gunung yang besarnya tidak terdakap
seperti itu jugalah rindu aku pada....
kini harus aku terus menunggu
atau hilang saja di lautan luas..."

"awak suka saya?"
"saya tulis puisi ni utk awak faham, lebih dari suka, hampir kpd sayang"

Allah bg ujian kt kita, nk tgk kita mampu btahan ke tak. Kdg2 cinta tak perlu diungkap. Cukuplah sekadar tahu bahawa ia selalu ada dlm hati kita. Sbb pertama kali kita tgk muka seseorang tu, kita tahu bahawa dia diciptakan utk kita. Menunggu seseorang tu mmg satu penyeksaan. Oleh itu, hargailah setiap detik kita luangkan bsma org tu. Sbb cinta yg agung lahir dari pengorbanan yg besar. 

Mintak maap sebab tetiba jiwang 100x

Yuk yuk yuk :p

I wish love had traffic light so I would know if I should: go for it, slow down or just stop.

                                 hidayah shukor

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THANKS FOR READING! :)

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Just a Little Bit

 Assalamualaikum

I know I'm a heavy thinker and lately, I've been thinking what kind of friend I am. Well, I should say, I'm a really complicated human being. I don't think the way I'm thinking is the same as any other typical girl. To all my friends out there, I am so greatly thankful for being surrounded by you guys, the wonderful people. While I'm trying to be a better friend, you guys have showered me with all the love and happiness. Your patience to endure my clumsiness, my silly acts, the awkward moments I've created, those hateful words I wish I'd never thought of, the stupid conversation I started and so many other things that if I recall, I might burst into tears. It might be true when people say I sometimes can be dramatic because I think too much that it will annoy some people. I'm not (mind you) telling you how much I've hurt my friends and how bad I am as a friend but I just want to voice out what's left in this tiny place called heart. After what had happened, I don't know who to turn to and that's why I'm blogging (again). I've been into blogging once but I think I've shared too much. I've had a conversation with a friend (well I know her for quite a long time but I haven't met her in person yet) about whether I'm sharing too little or too much and she said it's up to you because it's your right. While it's true people might salute you for being super duper honest but sometimes, the truth might embarrass you. That's why people prefer to keep things to themselves. Some things are better kept as secret, right? But as for now, I don't care if no one's reading this because I don't intend to share my blog with anyone. Not just yet.

Came across this while reading Aimie Habban's post (I love her blog to death; such an inspirational one weeee!). It's from Madagascar. Hey I watched that movie too! :p


"Listen Moto Moto. You better treat this lady like a queen because you my friend, you found yourself the perfect women. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect women I would give her flowers everyday and not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids, white, and breakfast in bed... six loaves of wheat toast with butter on both sides, no crust. The way she likes it. I'd be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend and I'd spend everyday trying to think of how to make her laugh. She has the most, most amazing laugh. Well that's what I would do if I were you."

It is such an amazing thing to hear, especially when it's coming out from your closest one. I wish Allah will make things easy for me and my friends. Thank you guys for putting up with me constantly, every second of the day. I hate to cut it short but to be less dramatic, lets just put our sweetest smile and be happy with what we got. Allah is Merciful, ya know?

Have you ever wondered what hurts most? - saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had?

                                  hidayah shukor

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THANKS FOR READING! :)

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To Think About

Assalamualaikum
It was raining the other day. I was laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling fan so it can go slower. The solemness was heavy throughout my room. With my friends are all in KL (well, almost) and since I have nothing to do at home (obviously I have to help my mom with the chores BUT!), I suddenly felt a little bit lonely. Ahhhh I hate the feeling. Sangat. All those sad and regretful things; they came all at once. Urgh, I should've kept myself busy and just enjoy my life. (tetibe de lagu Lenka - Just Enjoy The Show)

Wait.
Npe typical sgt, ble hujan je MESTI tingat mcm2 benda? =.='

Tidakkkk. This is not what I wanted to say. Scratch that out.

Ok so here it goes. Actually satu mlm tu, I dreamt of my best friend Jannah. She was advising me on how to spend my money wisely. (Yes friend, you came on the right time!) I bet she would do the same thing to me in real life heeee. :) I guess what she meant was from now on, I have to plan carefully on how to manage my expenses. In college, MARA paid for our housing and tuition fees. we (the students) lived in a cozy environment where all we have to think about was to goyang kaki and study hik. I was spending my money appropriately until I reached my final year at Vanderbilt (here's where I wish life could have had an "Undo" button. Haahaha as if!). And so, as I was saying; this is the time when you see others dressed to kill and have so many branded things that you suddenly want one too. *patting head* (I can feel you girl - myself)

I cannot believe how I've bought myself Coach handbags just for the sake of being up-to-date with fashion nowadays. Haihh manusia2, msti tanak mengalah punye. Tp xpela kn, da bli pakai je la hehe. Ok2 janji pasni tak bazir2 da lol. Bukan ape, what I want to say is, how I've changed (in so many ways), really surprises me. Like duh, I'm not that feminine; I don't wear girls' flip-flops (slipa jamban adelaaa) and make up (sgt jarang ok?). But, that's not the point. What I want to say is, while it's true you should buy things that satisfy you but keep in mind the difference between need and want. Sesungguhnya membazir tu kn amalan syaiton nirrojimmm (cewahhhh). Oklah, tak larat nk bebel byk2. Talk to you later peeps.

Now who's gonna get me these?

JUST.KIDDING. ;)

                                                                                                                                          hidayah shukor

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THANKS FOR READING! :)

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More or So

Assalamualaikum

Finally I can think straight. I mean I've reduced the pressure in my head. And it's getting lighter now alhamdulillah. From Allah I seek peace and calmness because He is The Greatest, The Almighty. He gave me the strength to live my life and face the days ahead. Recently I got an unpleasant news from my friend and it made me thinking, that although some things happened for a reason, but sometimes I wish to know what the reason is. Whatever it is my friend, just keep on moving and don't look back if you don't have to.

Letting go is the best thing you could do because if you did, it means you're mature enough to accept the fact that something's not meant for you. Don't worry, no doesn't mean never. Who knows, right?

My advice is, don't stop praying to Him. He knows what's inside you although you don't say it out loud. I have this bad habit; I sometimes say things I don't mean. Then later on I'll worry about things I'm not supposed to. When I try to make things better, the situation got out of hand and became worse. I guess I'm not mature, not just yet. But now and then, there's always a saying;

"Forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We do it for ourselves - to get well and move on."

After all, forgiving is for giving. Don't ya think?




                                           hidayah shukor

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THANKS FOR READING! :)

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Things I Remember

Assalamualaikum

I've always wanted to be a prefect at school but the highest position I ever get was 'Penolong Ketua Darjah'. At the end of year, my class teacher wanted everybody to have at least a role in the class. I was Standard 6 at that time and being granted an important role for the first time, I felt so happy. Haha budak2 kan. One day 'Ketua Darjah' was absent so I have to do his work. Great. Thanks pal but that's what a helper should do kan? Da nama pn 'penolong' hihihi. Greeting the teachers 'Selamat Pagi Cikgu' and updating the logging book for attendance kt pejabat skola; it was all nostalgic. Cewahhh time tu rse cm bertanggungjawab gilaaaaa. 

Really, I was really naive back at those days. Just imagine, I helped my friends to act as a 'ghost' in a role play after they treated me RM2.00 for a nasi ayam kt kantin. Thinking back, it was so embarrassing since I have to wear 'telekung' and acted all silly. Gosh, can I not mention it anymore? But I guess they asked me just because I was not the outspoken one and a shy girl. Or rather, invisible. I know it sounded emo. Haha who cares. Cmnepn, it was an honor for me when some of my friends still remember me until now. Even my kindergarten friends. 

Dear Allah, I'm so blessed. (^_^)

A friend of mine since primary school. Ikut aku smpai high school and university~

Friend are like color pencils. They color our lives. I may not be your favorite color but I hope you will need me some time to color your picture.

hidayah shukor

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THANKS FOR READING! :)

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A Happy Weekend

Assalamualaikum

Early this month, my dad took us to Teluk Senangin, Perak. Although we've checked in early, we have to wait at the hotel's lounge because the rooms were not ready yet. So we strolled along the park just to waste some time.

Cantik kan taman ni?

At the beach. The view was splendid and this cutie was my model of the day ;)

The view from our room at sunset. It was so breathtaking.

That night before we went to dinner, my dad and I watched TV3 news on Perhimpunan Bersih. There were so many people stuck in the traffic jam for 4 to 5 hours. Imagine that. A guy said he had to cancel his activity just because of the long queue. I heard there was chaos everywhere in KL (well, at DBKL and Dataran Merdeka especially). My grandma was quite worried because my family could be facing the same thing and I know I will hate traffic jam. But nahh, we didn't reach Tanjung Malim, at least, where the traffic jam started at. Nevertheless, we stuffed our stomach with Thai food so much that believe me, I couldn't even stand up. We, opps I mean, I ate a lot that night. Dad ordered a set of 8 dishes (if I remember it correctly) and there were chicken, beef, shrimp, fish for us to eat. Being the savior (cewah), I finished the leftovers sebab membazir tu kan amalan syaitan. Ish3 :p

Ok2, that was that. And we all slept soundly like a baby. Awww. And the next morning, since I haven't been in a swimming pool for 4 years (is that really yeah I guess so), we all headed downstairs and terjun! Haha. I surely miss wearing those cute swimsuits. But that was what, 10 years ago? Now, cannot wear anymore lah! (ada swimsuits for muslim women, kan?)

I could never reach the spot where my brother did. Duh, he's taller than me. Sobs~

On our way back. Still can't get over the pool, huh? :p

It was a well spent weekend for a family vacation. I'm glad my dad came up with the idea. I had so much fun. Thanks ayah. Hehe.

O Allah, please help me get over these uneasy feelings and grant me your calmness.

hidayah shukor

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THANKS FOR READING! :)

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Sometimes

Assalamualaikum

Last week I went to aunt's house. Dh lama Mama xjmpe cousin dia tu so you know what happen when two moms meet. And so Encik Ayah was being kind enough to treat all of us to dinner that night. Not feeling like eating rice, so I ordered mee bandung. While waiting for the food, I chit-chatted with my cousin and he asked "knape tak keje lagi?". A pause. I didn't know what to answer but I did say I was looking forward to further my studies. Urgh I should've listed down all my options and decide which path I want to take. As people say, time and tide wait for no man. Some of my friends already have a secure job and some have gone through many stages of interview. Despite having the idea of pursuing a master degree, I should at least send out my resume and cover letter to some potential companies. Kan3? I did that, to be truth but I'm still not clear with what I want to do right now.

Before my mind wandered to some other places, thank goodness the food came at the right time. Waiter anta 2 mangkuk mee. Nmpk mcm sama ja padahal aku ngn makcik aku order mee lain2. We couldn't differentiate the noodles, so I asked the waiter, "Mana satu mee bandung eh? Dua2 mcm sama ja. Saya order mee bandung". My aunt, on the other hand, ordered mee kuah. He asked me back, "Haa mana satu mee bandung, mana satu mee kuah ni?". He was confused at the moment smbil garu2 kepala and pusing blkg kt kwn die.

"Errr..jgn la tny saya. Saya pn taktau yg mana". My mom started to laugh a bit. And me too. "Takpelah, kami mkn ja yg mana2 pun". Hehe.

Da nama pn tukang hanta mknn. Haih these people nowadays. He should've at least asked the chef which one is which.

hidayah shukor

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THANKS FOR READING! :)

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Can You Hear Me?

Assalamualaikum

Being an unemployed, there has never been anything happier than waking up late. *wink* But one early morning, when I was soundly asleep, I received a phone call. Urgh. Malas gilaaaaa nk jwb. At first I didn't want to answer it because the number was not on my contact lists but thinking back, it might be from the company I applied job for. OR it might be someone who needs a tutor help since I signed up to be one on the internet.

OK. Enuf with the thinking.

So I picked up the phone. It was a man but I couldn't hear him clearly. He was saying something and I'm pretty sure he wasn't from a company who wants to offer me a job. Nope, I'm pretty certain. And so I thought it was a call from a parent looking for a tutor for his kid. He introduced himself as Encik Hamis or Himis I'm not so sure lol. He asked me where do I live and kt mne Batu Feringghi (haha random tak). Excuse meeeee but I actually don't know the direction to go there (although I'm living in Penang) sbb aku x duduk belah pulau sane and the last time I went to Batu Feringghi was 4 years ago (?) or more. He sounded so sarcastic when he said to me "Ohhh, you yourself don't know where it is". Mcm nk kate, "Nama je org Penang tp taktau Batu Ferigghi kt mne". I mean what is your problem? Dah la call og pg2, tny soklan random pstu nk perli org. He was talking a mile a minute and there was a background noise. Imagine that. Ok fine. After 10 minutes of talking and not understanding each other (haha), he finally asked me, "This is Mrs Suzi right?".

"Noooooo????"

He quickly hung up. There goes my precious sleeping time.
Nice one lah whoever-you-said-you-are.

                                  

  hidayah shukor

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THANKS FOR READING! :)

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At The Beginning

Assalamualaikum.

Hi there! Still here though, beranikan diri dgn dunia blogging lg hehe. When it's painful to look back at the past, I keep on walking and moving on. I know I made mistakes and have disappointed so many hearts in my college life but I can't turn back time. Might get annoyed of me saying 'sorry' for zillions of time but what more could I do, people can forgive but they can't forget. People are probably right when they say they were hurt by me because sometimes, I am not aware of my wrongdoings. I'm not a child anymore but I need to be reminded and like others, I don't like to be scolded and get yelled at.

He has given me a second chance to change myself and be a better person. He made me realize that although things can't be undone, there is still hope for tomorrow and I believe He had planned something for me. I'm not expecting an abrupt change in me but a friendly reminder to myself:

"Dan apabila Kami memberikan nikmat kepada manusia, ia berpaling dan menjauhkan diri, akan tetapi apabila ia ditimpa malapetaka maka ia banyak berdoa." [Surah Fushshilat Ayat 51]

Oh. Ok. So. 

Hello semua!!! :)

hidayah shukor

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THANKS FOR READING! :)

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