I feel sorry for you. I just couldn't bear to have that feeling anymore. I want it be burn and gone. I need to find back my dignity and true self. I don't want to be pat nor patting someone else, in this case, patting you. A friend and just a friend. I need to clarify this with myself and really be ready to treat you as one. I want to look at you and see nothing. I want to talk to you with zero awkwardness. I am not building a wall here, only a plasma screen between you and me to hold myself back from holding you, like I used to. It's best if I put the end to the show. I am tired of it already. The unfortunate is only me for loving you this much.
I always want to write this but I am afraid if I am showing too much. I believe in God's promise, every living things came with a partner. Either we'll find them earlier, later, harder or easier. I was back then really hoping that it was you. Maybe it's because you are warmth to people and easy to help others. I took you mistakenly and fell for your kindness. I feel happy and most content besides you. I missed the thoughts that other people may also feel the way I did and fell for you. It wasn't your fault to be naturally born nice, in my case I'm the one in guilt.
If you by any chance reading this, I am truly sorry for making it harder for you. You told me thousands of time not wait, hold nor expect. I did several times not to do those things you told me not to but really your charm destructs it all at once. I have no chance to hate you or at least have the guard to ignore you. Even if I did it won't last longer than a week. I tried, I truly did. I am so sorry I failed.
Well then, I guess I just have to continue guarding myself not to cross the line anymore. Once again standing up and trying to let go. I hope you take care of yourself. Don't fall in sick and never stay out too late. Be motivated and always influence others in good ways. I miss our old time when I can just sit near you and tell you everything and you tell me yours. We are so near yet so far. If I ever be given any super power I hope it would be to make you fall for me over and over again and never be apart from me. Because, I without any spell, with my modest heart falling for you over and over again. You've made my day before and I hope you would still do the same in future. Till then.
hidayah shukor
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